Forever and Ever, Amen
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Gone Country Challenge - JJ/Rossi


_**Author's note - Thank you so much for inviting other shippers into this challenge. I had a ball! Please read and review! As ever, I don't own Criminal Minds.**_

_"You may think that I'm talking foolish, you've heard that I'm wild and I'm free. You may wonder how I can promise you now this love that I feel for you always will be. But you're not just time that I'm killing, I'm no longer one of those guys. As sure as I live, this love that I give, is gonna be yours until the day that I die."_ - **Randy Travis** (_Forever and Ever, Amen_)

**Forever and Ever, Amen**

He stood with the velvet ring box clutched in his right fist and the three carat marquis cut diamond solitaire ring clenched in his left, it's edges cutting into his palm. "What do you mean, "No," JJ?"

"I mean no, David," JJ returned softly, staring across the room at his dark pain filled face.

"Care to explain why?" David asked, his careless words belying the expression covering his face.

"Because…because…I don't know how to say it, Dave," JJ began uneasily. "Can't we just go on as we've been?"

"No, Jen. I don't think we can. At least not until I understand why you're saying no to this…to me."

"I'm not saying no to YOU! I'm saying no to marriage," JJ replied hastily.

"So it isn't me that you object to, but the sanctity of marriage altogether?" Dave asked incredulously.

"Can't you just drop this?" JJ asked, lifting her glass of wine to her lips and taking a hefty sip.

Scrubbing a hand down the front of his face, Dave shook his head dumbly. "Dammit, Jen! No, I can't just drop it…I can't pretend I never asked the question. And I can't forget that your immediate answer was NO!"

Eyes filling with tears, JJ shook her head. "You think that I don't want to say yes, David? That I haven't dreamed of this moment? Because I have!"

"Then why, Bella? Why would you say no?" Dave asked, determined to understand the stubborn woman in front of him.

"Because if I say yes, it won't last! I'd just be setting myself to join the long line of former Mrs. Rossi's and that isn't what I want for us!" JJ all but screamed.

"Jesus, woman! What the hell are you talking about?" Dave shouted back, beginning to lose control of his tightly leashed temper.

"Damn it, David…don't be thick…I'm talking about your track record with women. Do you even realize that I'd be your FOURTH wife? Do you?"

"Of course, but-"

"But, nothing! My parents were married for forty years before my father died, Dave! FORTY!"

"Where are you going with this, Jennifer?" Dave asked impatiently.

"I want forever and ever love, Dave," JJ whispered. "Not "this really feels good right now" love. I WANT what my parents had. I want to KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that you'll still love me in forty years…that we'll still be together. "

"Jennifer, nobody gets guarantees, honey. But I can promise you, this IS that forever kind of love that you want so badly," Dave said softly, trying to reassure her. " I love you. Not for an hour or a day or a month, but forever! Babe, we've been together almost two wonderful years…what would cause you to doubt me now?"

"How about three prior marriages?" JJ asked bitterly. "Forever didn't work out very well for those women, did it? Did you promise it to them, too?"

Sighing, Dave reached out to surround one of JJ's small hands in his. "We've never talked about any of my marriages."

"I didn't figure it was my business. I always assumed that if you wanted me to know anything about them, that you'd tell me," JJ said, shrugging and not meeting his eyes.

"I never figured a woman would particularly enjoy hearing about her lover's former wives. But, evidently I was wrong. There are some things that you need to understand, Jen. For years, rumors followed me that I was a playboy and I never did a thing to dispel them because it suited me. Suited my motives."

"Are you saying that they're false," JJ asked with a raised brow.

"I'm saying that they were exaggerated. But that's better illustrated by listening to the story of my three marriages. You want to hear it?" Dave asked carefully.

"Do I need to hear it? Will it change anything?" JJ asked in a small voice.

"God, I hope so, Bella," Dave said truthfully.

"Okay," JJ finally nodded. "Go ahead…tell me the story of the Three Mrs. Rossi's."

"First of all, everyone always assumes because I've been married three times, that I've been divorced three times, too. Never figured that it was anybody's business, so, I never bothered to correct the assumptions. But I've only been divorced twice. My first wife, Kay, died."

"What?" JJ asked, shocked.

Nodding, Dave swallowed painfully. Even thirty years later, it was painful to talk about. "Kay and I married right out of high school. The year I graduated Princeton, we decided to start a family. She tried for almost a year to get pregnant before we decided to see a doctor. We'd just chalked the difficulties up to timing our love life around my hectic schedule. Anyway, by the time we saw the doctor and they found the tumors on her ovaries…well… the end was almost near. We had another six months together," Dave whispered, trying to speak around his thickening throat as he stared down at where he clutched JJ's hand like a lifeline.

"I had no idea," JJ said, gazing at Dave's profile. "If I'd known…"

"It's not something I talk about, Jen. Ever."

Nodding, JJ said softly, "That's why you went insane with my gynecologist last year when he found those cysts on my ovary. You asked that man a thousand questions before you finally agreed about the surgery. And then…after…you were so distant."

"I was terrified that I was going to have to relive the past. Losing another woman to a disease that I couldn't fight," Dave confessed.

"I'm so sorry," JJ murmured, tightening her hand around his.

"I got through it. But last year, I realized the fear I felt then with Kay, was minimal next to what I felt with you. I knew what I stood to lose. For the second time in my life. And it paralyzed me. I survived losing the first woman I loved. I don't think I could live through that pain again if I lost the last woman I'm going to love."

Biting her lip, JJ's heart clenched as she watched his tortured face.

"I met Laine two years after Kay died. She was fun. Uncomplicated. And I was lonely. She wasn't a bad wife, but she wasn't my Kay. I thought if I had someone…anyone to go home to…maybe, I wouldn't be so lonely. But it didn't work…even when you're surrounded with people, Jen, you can feel completely alone. She deserved better…and she found it. She ended up having an affair with one of the agents that I worked with when I was starting out in the Serial Crimes division and filing for divorce. I think they got married something like three months after we split up. Last I heard, they'd had their third kid.

"Dave -," JJ stammered.

"Shhh…let me just get through this, okay?" Dave said, resting his hand over hers. "You need to hear it all to understand." Stopping for a moment and gathering his thoughts, he began again. "After Laine…I had a string of meaningless relationships. Basically, I used women to fill a need when I felt the urge…which, given how the BAU was back then, wasn't all that often. But, after I retired the first time from the Bureau, I found myself growing bored. That boredom resulted in my last marriage to Samantha. Honest to God, Jen, I don't know what I was thinking. We had NOTHING in common. Friends tried to warn me that she was in it for the money…the fame. But me, being me, ignored everything but my own foolish desires. Thank God my editor talked me into a prenup to guard my book royalties. As it was, she walked away with a house, a car, and several thousand of my hard-earned dollars."

"I don't know what to say," JJ replied quietly.

"Jennifer, I'm fifty-four years old and I've slept with exactly fifteen women, three of which were wives. Two of them were one night stands and one of them is you. Do the math, babe. I haven't exactly been the raging lothario that I've been painted to be. I know how this marriage thing is supposed to be, sweetheart. Mom and dad were married fifty-two years. The problem I had was that only one of my three marriages was about love. I loved Kay. If she'd lived, I don't know that I'd be sitting here with you right now. But she didn't. I had to move on. And I moved on with the wrong people. Until now, Bella. I love you. With you, I feel complete for the first time in nearly thirty years. I don't want to lose that. I don't want to give up what I've found in your arms…in your heart. I can't sit here and deny that I'm a risk. I know I am. I've exhibited some flawed, fucked up judgment. But, I KNOW, I'm right about us. We belong together. You can say no to the ring, the proposal, and to me. But you need to know, I'm not going anywhere. And if this, right now, is all you can give me…I'll take it and hold on to it as tightly as I can. But don't say no because you don't think I know how to love you…to be committed to you…because I do."

Drawing in a shaky breath as she stared into his earnest, forthright face, JJ whispered, "Can I revise my answer to your earlier question?"

"I'm afraid to say yes, but go ahead," he replied nervously.

"It would be an honor to become the fourth and last Mrs. David Rossi," JJ said, her voice filled with tears.

Sliding the diamond ring on the third finger of her left hand, Dave whispered, "Thank you. I'll make sure you're never sorry, Jennifer."

"I know you will, Dave. I love you," she whispered quietly before pressing her lips to his.

**FIN**


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